Anatomy of Death
by Aseades
Summary: After not being able to perform his duty for quite some time. The grim reaper is sentence to stand in trial for job abandonment. Hidan is given a lawyer to defend his case and hopefully gets him back on track.


This is my first attempt in writing a Hidan fanfic, I apologize for the length kinda got carried away, sorry if its no good. Any how I hope you enjoy reading this piece, i just wanted to contribute to Hidan's coolness! Please feel free to leave your opinion I would love to hear what you all think ^.^b

I don't own any rights to Naruto. Just a humble fangirl crazy about Hidan =D

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Alive, alone and left for dead, his immortality turned to be his ultimate weakness. Unable to die and unable to move on he was doomed to stay in his current resting place for all of eternity. Soon after the last rock and grain of sand settled, so did the pain. This pain was much more different from any other pain he has felt and so loved. This pain was different, it felt empty and at the same time annoying, it didn't hurt like how it's supposed to, it just seemed to linger. He couldn't decide what was more painful, being left like this or the thought he will soon be forgotten like all of the countless immortals whom have gone nameless through out the passing of time. _This fucken hurts so bad _he muffled, mouth filled with dirt, mind filled with disbelief. _If only I could die this wouldn't suck so bad, I swear some people just don't appreciate how much of a gift death is..._ His only comfort was to let his mind wander and hope that one day his immortality would eventually fade away.

-flash-

_Case number 1807 is now open...Hmm this should be interesting... _She muttered to herself as she pages through the profile in front of her. The instant she took notice to the case number so another Advocate.

"Careful with this case." An elderly age Advocate advised. He had an elegance look to him due to his salt and pepper hair with handsome structure especially his face with sharp piercing light amber eyes shaped with dark sharp slender rims resembling a cunning wolf.

"He seems interesting..." The young Advocate smiled. She was young with honey blonde hair; medium built seeing the world with blueish gray eyes that she hides behind her glasses. Her lips were small and thin almost fragile looking with a tint of pale pink. Everything about her was plain, from the absence of make-up to the cookie cutter uniform she wore. She was just the average girl that you'd never noticed and the girl you'd see everyday without taking a second glance. A smile of curiosity crept upwards along her lips as she continues to pages through the profile, when suddenly vibrant purple eyes stopped her eyes dead in her tracks. She was captivated her jaw drop in sync with her heart skipping a beat, he was beautiful...no more than beautiful..._An angel. _She whispered beneath her breath. She stared at the picture for several moments until her attention was broken by the elder Advocate.

"Most beautiful,isn't he?" He stated, unsurprised. "Maybe you should try to take your eyes off that face and look at the facts listed." He lightly smiled looking at the woman who was completely swooning over what she considered a brief inspirational beauty. She took a couple seconds before she finally mustered the strength to break her eyes free from the image of the attractive man.

"Huh? Ahem...Yes I notice the information listed." A desperate lie was detected all over her statement as she desperately tried to hold her pride. Advocate Acedia simply just smiled, taking into amusement how the young woman is already smiting over the client. Next to the picture was a listing of how many times his case has been over turned by each advocates. Her eye brow shot up abruptly after the figures sank in, her breath was momentarily stolen from her.

"Here is the scroll for his psychological profile and 3 more for his citations." The elder advocate handed over.

"4 individual scrolls!!! Wow that can hold over 10,000,000 pages easily!" She exclaimed as a tear drop began to run down the back of her head.

"Where did you get access to this kind of information? Advocate Acedia?" Grabbing the scrolls into both of her hands and placing it in along with her case profile in brief case.

"All of his ex advocate were all given this information, however, the all eventually either gave up on him or went insane trying to work with him, I'd suggest you go to find a good head shrink as well if you consider taking him on. Just take a look at a couple of his citation then you will see what you are dealing with." Advocate Acedia sighed hinting his failure at the young and determined Advocate.

Curious, the young Advocate takes out one of the citation scroll and summons one of them to appear, and with a white poof of smoke a huge book the popped out nearly crushing her as it leaves an imprint on the marble floor. She quickly jumps back with no seconds left to spare. _Phew that was a close call._ After she collected herself she went and examined the first page, immediately her eyes began twitching as she watch in horror at the first citation that was in front of her she began reading the context out loud...

"Let's see...R.U.I, drunk in public, offensive conduct, resisting arrest...oh my lord in heaven?" She muttered in disbelief. _Wait! What is R.U.I?_ She thought to herself.

"R.U.I means Riding Under the Influence." Advocate Acedia flatly sighed as he pulls out a handkerchief and began to pat the sweat drops beading on his forehead. The sight of the book brought back unwanted memories when he first took on that case.

"Advocate Acedia! You look ill, are you all right?

"Yes, Advocate Tara, I'm fine." The elder Advocate lied with his words even though his expression suggested evidence of emotional distraught.

"Just be careful with this one. Advocate Tara Gedy." With a slight wave he walks by the young woman down an empty marbled corridor, echoes of fainting foot steps concluded his departure from her.

_Thanks Advocate Acedia_. Tara acknowledge his concerned. When she determined he was far enough from the fading echos, she takes a moment to takes another sneak peek to the hauntingly beautiful picture of the man once more. _Bad boys...Always the bad boys..._ She sighed to herself as she reseals the pages planning to take them to her place of study.

A cold and empty office awaited her return, a relative medium office consisting of an old desk, a small library on the left hand side and a blank wall on the right hand side plain and simple just as how it was the first day she stepped into her office. _Better start reading_ as she pulls out her chair and casually gets comfortable before she summons the case files again. She carefully wrote down what she considered important, trying to dissect him before she met him. She wanted to make sure she was ready in every aspect when she calls him forth and have their first meeting; she read every advocates first account when they first met him. Most of the encounter documented stated he was "Rude and uncooperative." After a couple hours have gone by she noticed she was starting to get tired so she eased off the desk and tilted her chair back and began to close her eyes taking a moment to rest her eyes. During her short mental break she began to replay the scenario where she would first come face to face with him, how he will greet and treat her? _He's so text book, just stay focus and be prepared for the unexpected. _A couple weeks of intensive studying and examining, Advocate Tara finally felt confidant to meet him. Taking great pride and confidant in up coming case, she invited Advocate Acedia for a little chit chat to discuss her plans with him. The two met up in a bar at a late hour. The bar itself was run down; dim lighting and a poorly kept environment reflected those who hung out there. The bar was a meeting place for all the social rejects to come and drink their sorrows away, a perfect place for two Advocates who enjoys both pass time and evaluate potential future clients. The two Advocates enjoy seeing humanity sink this low, it bared human nature at its purest form after all the stereotypes and formalities of society were stripped, where anything can happen in just a whim. _Living every moment like it was the last oh how beautiful chaos is. _Sitting in a bar stool, the lazy appearance of the Elder Advocate slumps over the table resting on his left elbow. "Are you ready to take him on?" As he sips at the rim of his drink eyeing the young advocate, to his right.

She lightly crocks her head towards his direction. "As ready as I can be...Besides I have a plan for him." She winks with a hit of flirt before tilting her bottle in a mid air toast like motion before she wraps her lips around the rim taking in the sweet liquid. The elderly man just smiled as he continues to enjoy his drink with the young woman. Eventually they began to look at the crowd around them to who don't seem to take notice to the two.

"Just look at them..." He softly sigh, scanning and making a mental profile each and every individual.

"Its good to be alive." She smiled as she finishes her beer and continues to order more. The two enjoyed each other's company while drinking till dawn began to sneak up on them.

"My how time fly's when you're in a good conversation." She laughs looking at the elder advocate with a warm face.

"Sure does, good luck to you my dear, call me if you need anything." The elder advocate wishing luck to her before throwing a large amount of money down and starts walking towards the exit.

"It should cover everything including the tip." Before reaching the exit, he turn to bid her farewell with a winked, the young woman held up her glass of wine to him in cheers like motion before taking the last drink, as she watch him depart from her sight.

Upon returning to her office Advocate Tara was surprised to see a small card left there on her desk. She was not use to receiving any kind of gift, in fact she has not received anything since the first day she stepped into her office so long ago. Flattered a faint smile cracked between her lips as she opens the card. Her eyes motioned a softer shade after reading the words within the card as she closed and kissed the card before she places it back into the envelope and into her suit case. _Well, time to do what I said I would do. _And with those words she walks to her blank wall and place her hand on it to causing the wall to break away piece by piece, revealing it was some kind of portal of swirling red and black vortex colors intertwining within each other. She takes a deep breath and with a commanding voice stated her objective.

"I call forth Hidan! Come to me!" The portal slowly began to take an image of a forest and in the middle of the forest appears to looks like a caved in hole. The rubbles had some green mostly weed growing on top of it an indication that some time has passed since the blast was created how long remained undetermined. _This is interesting his soul should have appeared before me_. Advocate Tara then changes her command and ask for the exact location of Hidan she always hated the operating system the damn portal ran on. _Damn this thing! _E_ven in the after world Microsoft SUCKS! _A cringe found its way to her face. The portal slowly shows Hidan dismembered and buried beneath the rubbles and it was then Advocate Tara realized that if she wanted to talk to him she would have to unearth him and put him back together. _Oh great! I knew I miss read the part where it said he was buried rubbles I didn't take to account I would have to dig him up myself..." _A sweat of despair ran down the back of her head and she begins to prepare a spell to unearth Hidan. Digging would take too long and besides she had no intentions of getting her hands dirty. Using one of her powers of object manipulation she was able to remove the rubble with astonishing time and ease. She carefully separated earth and flesh as she starts putting him back together. _This is all wrong. _She thought to herself as she notice the pieces of flesh was still in good condition as if nothing has ever happened to it, no sign of age or decay, but despite the doubt she continues to put him together piece by piece like a jig saw puzzle. Perhaps it was a mix of pride and a twist of her determining nature that made her set aside the wrong feeling she initially felt.

Finally after the whole body was assembled it was time to reattach the head (eyes shut and unresponsive). After reattaching the head she stepped forward and released her hold on his body which came crashing to ground like a lifeless crops. She raised an eye brow of annoyance at the sight of the lifeless body as she starts to grind her teeth together. _You got to be shitting me. _She clenched her fist and began to walk towards the corps, laying face down into the dirt, she kicks him over to his back so she can take a good look at his face. Her breath caught the back of her throat upon looking at his face. Despite the blood encrusted clay on his face due to mixture of blood and dirt over time, he still managed to look as handsome as he did in the picture. Skin was still amazingly good condition, his complexion was pale with a hint of olive tint an unusual but attractive complexion. His features were delicious almost intoxicating hooded eyes, full lips and an ideal nose that were all held together by his perfect jaw line and silky smooth silver hair despite being covered in dirt it was difficult to make him look unpertty. The sight caused her to flinch in shock and then slightly shifted to jealousy, as she felt an urge to hit him for being too good looking.

_"_Get up!" She demanded kicking him hard into his side; she can feel his ribs extending inwards from the force of her kick against the ball of her foot. Still no response. Annoyed and frustrated she picks up the unresponsive man and brings him eye level to her as she starts examine him facial structure closer. Then in an instant she notice a faint twitch in his left eye brow followed by a quick crushing clench to her throat from her left side of her neck. She lets out a quick gasp but air was suddenly cut off. The speed of the grab was so fast she didn't have time to react let alone think. Then a haunting glare pierced her eyes and through depths of her inner core. Vibrant orchid purple eyes held her in her spot, watching helplessly, a sickly sweet smile emerged, reflecting off her blueish gray eyes.

"Thanks for the kick back to life." His tone was wicked, his smile was cruel and his intentions spoke for it as he tossed her aside several feet away from him causing her to slide in the dirt with discomfort. _What an asshole! _was the only thought going through her head. After she slid into a halt, the angry advocate angrily transported to her feet in a split second. Surprised with the speed he just witnessed Hidan brings his right hand to the back of his neck cracking the joints of his neck loose suggesting a "Come on!" taunt. An arrogant smirk confirmed the body language.

"I'M NOT HERE TO FIGHT YOU! I'M HERE TO BE YOUR ADVOCATE!" The woman yelled, trying to make it clear that they are one the same side. The man at first smiled and then started laughing at her announcement, belittling her attempts to communicate with him.

"Aww little miss advocate is here to defend my life...And what do I owe the honor to?" He mischievously mocked her intentions.

"Cheap shots like that aren't going to get you no where." A soft giggle ended the sentence as she starts to walk towards him who was still looking at her with his wicked intentions and cruel smile.

"Listen you have two options either work with me or back to your hole take your pick." She said seriously trying best to show she didn't care. Hidan noticed the seriousness of her voice and could not help but to play around with her emotions.

"If it's a date you're looking for, you're not my fucken type." He smoothly recited with such experience as if he has told so many women before the same line a thousand times over.

His words hit her like a rock. Shattering her image slowly, she can see the shards and pieces of her falling to the ground, shards so small that she can't put back together, pieces so sharp that if she touches it her fingers would bleed. _Oh my god!!! The nerve of this man! _Her left eye twitched and popping veins appeared on her right temple, she has never had any desire to stab someone to death until now.

Pleased with his initial stab he prepares to elevate emotional slaughter "No means, NO! Get over it. I'm sure your use to being turned down all the time, don't fucken act surprise" He carelessly gesture adding salt to the wound. Pausing after his harsh comment he takes a brief moment to indulge at the emotional pain he was eliciting as he finishes it off with an "Are you serious?" look. Now what appears to be steam can be seen coming out of both ears as a result of her whole heading Turing boiling red, what was once cool blue eyes turned to blue flames burning with the desire to deliver unimaginable pain to every parts of him. Within seconds her anger got the best of her as she clench her right fist firmly and combining with her lighting fast speed she makes an attempt to break his pretty face. _We will see if I will go out on a "Date" with you after you suck on this for me._ She smiled vindictively confidant her fist connecting with his face. However, somewhere between her burning desire to make him pay for his disrespectful comments and confident of her speed she disregarded she was charging head on to an opponent who was much more refined than her, but she didn't care hurting him became her main priority. Her attempts came to a slow motion painful halt, the seconds ticked slowly as she could see him taking a deep breath, closing his eyes and looking down before she can realize her fist was his right palm that envelopes her small fist. This was her initial contact with him. The touch was sinister and cold. She froze for what seemed like an eternity, replaying the part where he caught her fist with ease. He then slightly raised his head and opened his eyes glaring ever so sadistic towards her making it clear how far apart their combat skills were. With a flick of a wrist he effortlessly threw her away like a crumpled waste paper, she found herself on the ground once more.

Taking the chance to elicit more pain he harshly questioned "What happened? Did you fell?" an icy bored expression followed through his comment.

She lay on the ground for several seconds before making a fist with her left hand and hitting the ground three times releasing her frustration against the earth, grinding her teeth hard she was determined not to let him make a fool out of her. She looked at him with great distaste, annoyed that he has managed to bring her down this low, so low to the point where she had to support herself with her hands and knees. Laughing and taking pride to what he has already done to her he starts to walk off leaving to poor pathetic woman to deal with her pain.

"WAIT! I'm not done yet!" She yelled out. He didn't respond to what she said and continue walking. A desperate feeling quickly caused her to resort to one of her aces up her sleeves. _Oh no he is leaving! I can't let him leave! Not like this! _

"EVER THYNE. EVER MINE. EVER OURS!"

He stopped dead in his tracks looking over his left shoulders this time he substituted his menacing playful glance with something else, those words thug directly within the cords of his heart, his immediate expression of annoyance confirmed how deeply it strummed. Slow to get up she takes pride of the same courtesy he showed her.

"Hit a nerve?" Returning the favor, she place both hands on her hips admiring her come back as she tilts her head slight left letting out smile. She could see his eyes had a more serious spark as his lips curled with disgust. Pleased with the result she continues on her assault.

"What are you going to do about it? Kill me?"

Carefully she watched as he grind his teeth knowing the fact he can't kill someone who is already dead he knew she had the upper hand especially with _those words_.

"I'll fucken make you regret saying those words I promise you." He hissed, cursing her very existence taking his time to recognize her features so he can remember to hate her forever. Still wanting to inflict more pain on to him she retaliates.

"I can't get a date but I can get a promise? I guess I'll settle for a promise since it's will last longer than a date...don't you think?" In an instant a sharp cold metal object found its way through her heart. Casually she looks at the pike that was driven into her heart, with great speed and precision she might add, she was unfazed with the attack.

"How cute." She giggles, lifting her right arm sticking out her index finger gesturing a come here motion as she snaps her left fingers opening a portal. He twists the pike before pushing it in further insuring she felt the maximum amount of pain before he relinquish the pike from his hand, never once taking this eyes away from her eyes. They stared at each other for a couple seconds before she broke the eye contact as she turns around and walks towards the portal, whit his pike still impaled in her chest.

"If you want you pike back, come and get it." She blankly offered before disappearing into the vortex.

Threatened by what just happened he knew he had to play along with her demands for now until he can figure out her true intentions. He knew she has had time to study him which annoyed he to a great extent, feeling violated to every extent, he knew he had to follow the rabbit into the hole in order to kill the damn rodent. _I fucken hate games. _He cursed madly at himself before he took a deep breath and plunged himself into the portal expecting to find him self in an office all too familiar.

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Phew. Again I'm sorry that the first chapter is so long I promise I will make the up coming ones shorter.


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